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with Helen Hunt as Carol Connelly, Jack Nicholson as Melvin Udall, Greg Kinnear as Simon Bishop, Cuba Gooding Jr. as Frank Sachs, Yeardley Smith as Jackie Simpson
MELVIN UDALL: Don't bark at me. I didn't name you...
FRANK SACHS: Just watch the dog for tonight.
NEIGHBOR WOMAN: No, no. I'm sorry.
FRANK SACHS: Thanks. Old bitch. Damn dog. You're taking him! Get out of the way! Even the books... You don't want to mess with me.
MELVIN UDALL: I can't take a dog. Nobody's been in here before... We don't have no dog food here. You'll eat what we got.
JACKIE SIMPSON: How are you doing, great one?
SIMON BISHOP: I haven't looked at myself yet. I figured. I could tell from your reaction. That bad?
FRANK SACHS: I talked to the doctor and... It's not that bad. The doctors say you'll be your old self again. The scars might ... Oh, shit!
SIMON BISHOP: Jackie ... Hand me a mirror, please.
JACKIE SIMPSON: Wait. I have a smaller one.
SIMON BISHOP: So how are things, anyway? How is Verdell?
FRANK SACHS: Mr. Udall ... taking care of him.
SIMON BISHOP: How could you? He'll hurt him.
FRANK SACHS: No, I promise. Not a chance. I own this guy. Besides, there was nobody else. I'm always on the move and ... Trust me.
SIMON BISHOP: You are certain my dog is ok?
FRANK SACHS: Yes, your dog is fine.
CAROL CONNELLY: That's your dog?
MELVIN UDALL: No.
CAROL CONNELLY: What are you doing with a dog? MELVIN UDALL: Suckered in, set up.
CAROL CONNELLY: You're not worried he'll be taken?
MELVIN UDALL: No, not until now.
CAROL CONNELLY: Sorry.
MELVIN UDALL: I'm going to sit here.
GIRL: Hey, puppy. It's so cute.
BOY: I wonder what breed he is.
CAROL CONNELLY: He's a little dog. If Bryan's not here, you can bring him in.
MELVIN UDALL: It's a beautiful day for our walk. Look at that dog. I've got to give you something real good. I'm going to show it to you. Don't be like me. Stay as you are. You're perfect. I'll get you something to eat.
YOUNG WOMAN: I'd like to be treated like that.
MELVIN UDALL: Let's go home and do some writing.
MELVIN UDALL: Boy, look at that. He likes it at Chez Melvin. What are you coming over here for? I can't cook with a dog near me. Just sit. We don't want any company. I'll read you Emerson.
FRANK SACHS: How's Verdell doing?
MELVIN UDALL: He's a pain in the ass.
FRANK SACHS: Simon's home. Can you keep the dog until he's had a chance to adjust?
MELVIN UDALL: It's been weeks and weeks. A few more won't matter.
FRANK SACHS: He wants him back right away. He'll be by tomorrow.
MELVIN UDALL: Okay. Hungry?
SIMON BISHOP: Be right with you. Mr. Udall.
MELVIN UDALL: Some face they left hanging on you. You look like...
SIMON BISHOP: Could you take it just a little easy, Mr. Udall? Thank you. Verdell. Come here, my beautiful boy. Come here. Let's go home and get well.
MELVIN UDALL: I can't blame him for being weird. Look at yourself in the mirror.
SIMON BISHOP: Thank you. Come on, sweetheart. Verdell, come here. I know what you want. Where's my boy? No, don't force him.
MELVIN UDALL: Over a dog! Over an ugly dog.
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