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with Harold Ramis as Dr. Martin Bettes, Helen Hunt as Carol Connelly, Shirley Knight as Beverly
CAROL CONNELLY: Mom!
DR. MARTIN BETTES: In here, Mrs. Connelly.
CAROL CONNELLY: Please, what? Tell me!
DR. MARTIN BETTES: I'm Martin...
CAROL CONNELLY: Please just tell me!
DR. MARTIN BETTES: I'm Martin Bettes... Dr. Bettes.
CAROL CONNELLY: Not your name... what are you telling me your name for! Where is he?
DR. MARTIN BETTES: He's in the bathroom.
SPENCER: What's wrong?
CAROL CONNELLY: Nothing.
SPENCER: You know there are doctors that come to your house?
CAROL CONNELLY: No, I didn't.
BEVERLY: I'm home.
CAROL CONNELLY: What you doing here?
BEVERLY: I didn't know you had a secret admire.
CAROL CONNELLY: What?
BEVERLY: Oh, you met the gift.
SPENCER: He's good. I'm an expert on doctors.
CAROL CONNELLY: Okay, doctor?
DR. MARTIN BETTES: My wife is Melvin Udall's publisher. She says I have to take excellent care of this guy because you're urgently needed back at work. What kind of work do you do?
CAROL CONNELLY: I'm a waitress.
BEVERLY: In Manhattan.
TERRY: Dr. Bettes?
DR. MARTIN BETTES: Ya, Terry...
TERRY: I'm sorry it took so long.
DR. MARTIN BETTES: I couldn't find it, either. Could you get this to the lab? I want it back today.
CAROL CONNELLY: Ha, I'm sorry. Did you say "today"?
DR. MARTIN BETTES: Sure. Let's sit down.
CAROL CONNELLY: These are the receipts from all the prescriptions for the year. The calendar. This is a calendar of days. And how he felt.
DR. MARTIN BETTES: That's very good. How long has he had the problem?
CAROL CONNELLY: Since forever. Six months old.
DR. MARTIN BETTES: Have they done blood tests on him?
CAROL CONNELLY: Yes.
DR. MARTIN BETTES: Only in the emergency room or when he was well.
CAROL CONNELLY: Emergency room only.
DR. MARTIN BETTES: Have they done skin testing for allergies?
CAROL CONNELLY: No.
DR. MARTIN BETTES: They haven't done the standard scratch test..
CAROL CONNELLY: No. I asked. They said it's not covered under my plan. Why? Should they have?
DR. MARTIN BETTES: Well...
CAROL CONNELLY: Fucking H.M.O. bastard piece of shit... I'm sorry.
DR. MARTIN BETTES: Actually, I think that's their technical name.
CAROL CONNELLY: So, once the tests come back, is there someone I can reach in your office for the results?
DR. MARTIN BETTES: Me. My home number is on this card.
CAROL CONNELLY: His home number.
DR. MARTIN BETTES: What?
BEVERLY: Your home...
CAROL CONNELLY: Can we get you anything else? Do you want some watter or coffee?
DR. MARTIN BETTES: No, thank you.
CAROL CONNELLY: Couple of female slaves?
DR. MARTIN BETTES: There's still a lot of tests I need to do. Whatever I find out, I promise you, from now on your son is going to feel a great deal better. Okay?
CAROL CONNELLY: Doc!
DR. MARTIN BETTES: That's good.
CAROL CONNELLY: Let me know about the costs. One way or another we'll...
DR. MARTIN BETTES: The costs are going to be considerable. But don't worry. Mr. Udall wants to be billed.
BEVERLY: That's wonderful.
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