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with Jack Nicholson as Melvin Udall, Greg Kinnear as Simon Bishop
MELVIN UDALL: What a day... Maybe I'll bring him some food by. SIMON BISHOP: Thank you for walking him. Excuse me, I'm not feeling so well. MELVIN UDALL: This place smells like shit.
SIMON BISHOP: Go away.
MELVIN UDALL: That cleaning woman doesn't...
SIMON BISHOP: Please, just leave!
MELVIN UDALL: What happened with your queer party friends?
SIMON BISHOP: Get out of here! There's thing worse than having to feel this way in front of you.
MELVIN UDALL: Nellie, you're a disgrace to depression.
SIMON BISHOP: Rot in hell, Melvin.
MELVIN UDALL: No need to stop being a lady. Quit worrying, you'll be back on your knees in no time.
SIMON BISHOP: Is this fun for you? Well, you lucky devil... It just gets better and better. I am losing my apartment and Frank, he wants to beg my parents, who haven't called, for help... and I won't. And I don't want to paint anymore. So the life I was trying for is over. The life I had is gone and I am feeling so damn sorry for myself that it is difficult to breathe. Right times for you, Melvin. The gay neighbor is terrified. Terrified!
MELVIN UDALL: I was just trying to give you a boost.
SIMON BISHOP: Lucky you. You're here for rock bottom. You absolute horror of a human being.
MELVIN UDALL: The one thing I'll do for you. Might cheer you up.
SIMON BISHOP: Get out.
MELVIN UDALL: You want to know why the dog prefers me? It's not affection. It's a trick. I keep bacon in my pocket. See?
SIMON BISHOP: Oh, my gosh.
MELVIN UDALL: We'll both call him. You'll see. It's a trick.
SIMON BISHOP: Come here, Verdell. Come on. Come here.
MELVIN UDALL: Just a stupid dog.
SIMON BISHOP: Could you leave now? Please.
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