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with Greg Kinnear as Simon Bishop, Jack Nicholson as Melvin Udall, Helen Hunt as Carol Connelly
CAROL CONNELLY: And I know it's better for me to not have contact with you because you're not ready. you're a pretty old guy to not be ready and I'm too old to ignore that. But there were extraordinary kindnesses that did take place. Anyway. Thanks for the trip. Good night.
MELVIN UDALL: Okay if I say something now?
CAROL CONNELLY: Go ahead.
MELVIN UDALL: I should have danced with you.
CAROL CONNELLY: Good night.
MELVIN UDALL: Are you going talk to me or not?
SIMON BISHOP: I'm coming. What did she say?
MELVIN UDALL: That I'm a great guy, extraordinary... and she doesn't want contact with me. I'm dying here.
SIMON BISHOP: Because... you love her.
MELVIN UDALL: No. And you people are supposed to be sensitive and sharp?
SIMON BISHOP: Then you tell me why. You're the one who's "dying here".
MELVIN UDALL: I don't know. Let me sleep on it.
SIMON BISHOP: Oh, come on.
MELVIN UDALL: I'll figure it out.
SIMON BISHOP: Please...
MELVIN UDALL: I'm stuck. I can't get back to my old life. She's evicted me from my life.
SIMON BISHOP: Did you really like it that much?
MELVIN UDALL: It was better than this... Look you, I'm very intelligent. If you're going to give me hope, you got to be better than you're doing. If you can't be at least momentarily interesting than shut the hell up. I'm drowning and you're describing water.
SIMON BISHOP: Picking on me won't help.
MELVIN UDALL: If that's true, I'm really in trouble.
SIMON BISHOP: Melvin, do you know where you're lucky? You know who you want. I would take your seat any day. Do something about. Go over there. Now. Tonight. It's not always good to let things calm down. You can do this, Melvin. Tell her how you feel.
MELVIN UDALL: I'm charged.
SIMON BISHOP: Yes, you are.
MELVIN UDALL: She might kill me if I go there.
SIMON BISHOP: Then stay. I'll read you a story. The best thing going for you is your willingness to humiliate yourself. Go over there. Do this. Catch her off guard.
MELVIN UDALL: Thanks a lot. Here I go.
SIMON BISHOP: What's wrong?
MELVIN UDALL: I forgot to lock the door.
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