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4-9 Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

Making people glad to do what you want. Chapter 4 from How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

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He saw a chance to perform a great service and make his name immortal. But Wilson appointed another man, his intimate friend and advisor Colonel Edward M. House; and it was House's thorny task to break the unwelcome news to Bryan without giving him offense. "Bryan was distinctly disappointed when he heard I was to go to Europe as the peace emissary," Colonel House records in his diary. "He said he had planned to do this himself. "I replied that the President thought it would be unwise for anyone to do this officially, and that his going would attract a great deal of attention and people would wonder why he was there." You see the intimation? House practically told Bryan that he was too important for the job - and Bryan was satisfied. Colonel House, adroit, experienced in the ways of the world, was following one of the important rules of human relations: Always make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. Woodrow Wilson followed that policy even when inviting William Gibbs McAdoo to become a member of his cabinet. That was the highest honor he could confer upon anyone, and yet Wilson extended the invitation in such a way as to make McAdoo feel doubly important. Here is the story in McAdoo's own words: "He [Wilson] said that he was making up his cabinet and that he would be very glad if I would accept a place in it as Secretary of the Treasury. He had a delightful way of putting things; he created the impression that by accepting this great honor I would be doing him a favor." Unfortunately, Wilson didn't always employ such taut. If he had, history might have been different. For example, Wilson didn't make the Senate and the Republican Party happy by entering the United States in the League of Nations. Wilson refused to take such prominent Republican leaders as Elihu Root or Charles Evans Hughes or Henry Cabot Lodge to the peace conference with him.
Instead, he took along unknown men from his own party. He snubbed the Republicans, refused to let them feel that the League was their idea as well as his, refused to let them have a finger in the pie; and, as a result of this crude handling of human relations, wrecked his own career, ruined his health, shortened his life, caused America to stay out of the League, and altered the history of the world. more

Chapter 4: 9 (nine) ways to Change people without giving offence or arousing resentment

4.1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation
Begin with praise and honest appreciation
. If you must find fault this is the way to begin.
4.2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly
Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly
. How to criticize and not be hated for it.
4.3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
. Talk about your own mistakes first.
4.4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
. No one likes to take orders.
4.5. Let the other person save face
Let the other person save face
. Let the other man save his face.
4.8. Use encouragement; make the fault seem easy to correct
Use encouragement; make the fault seem easy to correct
. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
4.9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest
Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest
. Making people glad to do what you want.