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FAIRY GODMOTHER: Fine. Be that way.
FURNITURE: We didn't like you, anyway.
SHREK: Fiona? Fiona?
DONKEY: Oh! You got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo.
FIONA: Oh, uh! Fairy Godmother, furniture, I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Your husband? What? What did you say? When did this happen?
FIONA: Shrek is the one who rescued me.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: But that can't be right.
SHREK: Oh, great, more relatives!
FIONA: She's just trying to help.
She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving.
DONKEY: I don't want to leave.
FIONA: When did you decide this?
SHREK: Shortly after arriving.
FIONA: Look, I'm sorry.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: No, that's all right. I need to go, anyway. But remember, dear.
If you should ever need me happiness is just a teardrop away.
SHREK: Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: So I see. Let's go, Kyle.
FIONA: Very nice, Shrek.
SHREK: What? I told you coming here was a bad idea.
FIONA: You could've at least tried to get along with my father.
SHREK: I don't think I was going to get Daddy's blessing, even if I did want it.
FIONA: Do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted?
SHREK: Sure. Do you want me to pack for you?
FIONA: You're unbelievable! You're behaving like a.
SHREK: Go on! Say it!
FIONA: Like an ogre!
SHREK: Here's a news flash for you! Whether your parents like it or not. I am an ogre! And guess what, Princess? That's not about to change.
FIONA: I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that.
DONKEY: That's real smooth, Shrek. I'm an ogre!
KING: I knew this would happen.
QUEEN: You should. You started it.
KING: I can hardly believe that, Lillian. He's the ogre. Not me.
QUEEN: I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally. This is Fiona's choice.
KING: But she was supposed to choose the prince we picked for her. I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this thing?
QUEEN: Fiona does. And she'll never forgive you if you don't. I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable. Don't you remember when we were young? We used to walk down by the lily pond and they were in bloom.
KING: Our first kiss. It's not the same! I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a monster!
QUEEN: Oh, stop being such a drama king.
KING: Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong! La, di, da, di, da! Isn't it all wonderful! I'd like to know how it could get any worse!
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Hello, Harold.
QUEEN: What happened?
KING: Nothing, dear! Just the old hunting wound playing up a bit! I'll just stretch it out here for a while.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: You better get in. We need to talk.
KING: Actually, Fairy Godmother, off to bed. Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. So, how about we make this a quick visit. What? Oh, hello. Ha-ha-ha! So, what's new?
FAIRY GODMOTHER: You remember my son, Prince Charming?
KING: Prince Charming! Is that you? My gosh! It's been years. When did you get back?
PRINCE CHARMING: Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert I climbed to the highest room in the tallest tower.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Mommy can handle this. He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower. And what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess is already married.
WING: It wasn't my fault. He didn't get there in time.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Stop the car! Harold. You force me to do something I really don't want to do.
KING: Where are we?
FAST FOOD CLERK: Hi. Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy! May I take your order?
FAIRY GODMOTHER: My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy. Er, okay. Two Renaissance Wraps, no mayo, chili rings.
PRINCE CHARMING: I'll have the Medieval Meal.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: One Medieval Meal and, Harold. Curly fries?
KING: No, thank you.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Sourdough soft taco, then?
KING: No, really, I'm fine.
FAST FOOD CLERK: Your order, Fairy Godmother. This comes with the Medieval Meal.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: There you are, dear. We made a deal, Harold, and I assume you don't want me to go back on my part.
KING: Indeed not.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: So, Fiona and Charming will be together.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Believe me, Harold. It's what's best. Not only for your daughter but for your Kingdom.
KING: What am I supposed to do about it?
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Use your imagination.
CYCLOPS: Oh. Come on in, Your Majesty.
CAPTAIN HOOK: / I like my town / With a little drop of poison / Nobody knows.
KING: Excuse me.
BAR FRPG: Do I know you?
KING: No, you must be mistaking me for someone else. Uh, excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister. Ah! There you are. Right. You see, I need to have someone taken care of.
DORIS: Who's the guy?
KING: Well, he's not a guy, per se. Um. He's an ogre.
DORIS: Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, and, frankly, he don't like to be disturbed.
KING: Where could I find him? Hello?
PUSS IN BOOTS: Who dares enter my room?
KING: Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting, but I'm told you're the one to talk to about an ogre problem?
PUSS IN BOOTS: You are told correct. But for this, I charge a great deal of money.
KING: Would this be enough?
PUSS IN BOOTS: You have engaged my valuable services, Your Majesty. Just tell me where I can find this ogre.
FIONA'S DIARY: Dear Diary. Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset. Dad says I'm going away for a while. Must be like some finishing school. Mom says that when I'm old enough, my Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower and bring me back to my family and we'll all live happily ever after. Mrs. Fiona Charming.
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Watch songs from original soundtrack and other parts of movie
Fairy Godmother Song
I Need Some Sleep
Ever Fallen In Love
Holding Out for a Hero
Living La Vida Loca
Accidentally In Love
Shrek 2 (2004)
2 are we there yet
3 like an ogre
4 little father son time
5 live happily ever after
6 don't take the potion
7 how charming can I be
8 more that man