A girl your age?
And how old is that?
Uh, 28. Twenty-eight.
I thought you were a little bit older than that.
Well, I knocked off a few years for good behavior.
I don't care for that.
It's kid stuff.
Well, we're awfully glad you came to our party.
Well. Did you have fun?
Oh, yes, indeedy.
I thought Charlie made a pig of himself with that chocolate cake.
Oh,you're quite right.
Yes, I am.
Yes, I agree with you. Well, good night, Luana.
Good night, Ophelia.
Bonne nuit, Mortimer. Uh ma'am?
Bonne nuit. Oh, yes, ma'am.
Yeah, yeah. Bunny. I don't know no bunny wee.
Good night, Charlie. Uh, good night.
You know, Ophelia, you look so sweet.
Ah, what'd you say?
I say, I think you look so sweet.
Yes? I'm going to kiss you good night.
Oh, help! Isn't that a wonderful trick?
Yes, it is. Yes.
I wish I could enjoy my first childhood as much as he does his second.
Now, Luana, how would you like another piece of cake or some ice cream?
No, thank you. I'm full up.
Some candy? Care for a cigar? Me?
How about you, Mortimer?
I don't smoke. I don't mean that.
Well, what shall we do now?
How would you like to go down to the city dump and watch me slug rats?
Certainly not. No? How would you like to hear me tell a story?
Oh, I'd love it. Wouldn't you, Charlie?
Well, I, yeah no.
This is a story that everyone should know.
Yes, but not everyone should tell it.
And you know who.
Well, I'm going to tell it anyway.
Now, many, many years ago...
I think I'll run out and wind a sundial.
You'll stay right here.
Once upon a time, long, long ago...
Funny, nothing ever happens nowadays.
There was a place called Happy Valley.
Now, it was called Happy Valley because everyone who lived there was happy.
No! Well, there's a hunk of logic for you.
Are you listening, Mortimer?
Uh, Happy Valley?
That's right,yes. Now just try and imagine it.
Can't you just close your eyes and see it?
Well, I can't see very good with my eyes closed.
My eyelids get in the way.
You create a picture in your mind's eye.
Oh. That's not easy for him.
His mind gets in the way.
Now try and paint a mental picture. Yeah.
I painted a barn once, I did.
Well, that's very interesting.
It was a red barn. It was. Yeah.
Well, forget the barn.
And try and picture Happy Valley.
Well, I'll work on it.
That's the spirit.
Let's see, uh Let's see, now.
It's, let's say it's about...
Uh, what was the question? Happy Valley.
Oh, yeah! Yeah.
All that work for nothin'.
Can I try? Certainly. Yes.
I think I can see it, Mr. Bergen.
Yes, it was one of nature's garden spots, nestled among the green, rolling hills.
Can't you see the lovely brook as it flows through the valley?
He winding roads, lined with stately trees. Trees. Lush fields and prosperous farms dot the landscape.
Landscape. And high on a hilltop overlooking the valley, shining like a jewel, stands...
My red barn. No, no.
It was something much nicer.
It was a majestic castle!
Oh, that's pretty.
And something very precious is kept within these castle walls.
What is it?
It's a magic, singing harp.
Never read of this in a book or play thumping, bumptious simply scrumptious.
Yes, the voice of this golden harp cast a magic spell ofjoy and prosperity over the valley.
But it was too good to last I knew there was a catch in it for one day...
They built a schoolhouse.
No. One day a mysterious shadow crept over the valley. And then something dreadful happened!
When the shadow lifted, the golden harp was gone.
No longer was the valley happy, for without the magic of the harp, all was misery.
Just like the eighth grade.
Desolation spread over the land.
Everything was drying up.
Dry rot. Yes, isn't it? Charlie. Yes, sir.
The fields of golden corn turned to dust. Kerplop.
The laughing brook flowed no more.
To think that this was once Happy Valley!
Now it's Gruesome Gulch.
Days pass, weeks pass. I pass. New deal.
What happened to all the people?
Well, suppose we look in on these humble peasants.
Is that a peasant?
That's a cow, stupid.
Well, at least they had milk.
Well, she used to be a good milker.
But now She's an udder failure.
She was the bosom friend of a once-proud family.
Well, they're certainly out of the high rent district.
And there they are, three poor farmers, gripped by the pangs of starvation.
Still alive, still breathing, sharing a pitiful crust between them.
Share and share alike. Sharing and staring. Staring and sharing.
Uh,just tell it, don't ham it.
But are their spirits broken?
Have they lost hope?
Yes. Men facing famine, naught left but beans. Ahem.
If it were one man and three beans.
But, no. One bean and three men.
Well, at least there are no bones in it.
Must look at that miserable creature, doggedly struggling to maintain life, a gaunt, lean bag of bones and feathers.
Truly a picture of despair.
But Donald doesn't whimper.
Donald doesn't give up. Shut up! I can't stand it!
Easy, Donald. Easy! There. There, now. There.
Easy, Donald. I'll be all right.
Yeah. I'll be all right. I'll be all right.
He says he's all right, but I wonder.
He's suffered too much.
What diabolical thought is being hatched in the fevered brain of this poor, demented duck?
Donald! No! No!
Nice bossy, bossy. Nice old cowsy wowsy.
Donald! Donald! No, Donald!
Give it here! Let me I just gotta eat.
I'm so hungry.
The little fellow was completely out of his head.
Cut it out, will ya? I get the idea!
He was a pitiful sight.
Weeks without food.
Poor Donald. Yeah, poor me!
It was all they could do to restrain him.
You see, he had just about reached the end of his rope.
Yeah. Oh, it was a sorry predicament indeed.
What to do? What to do?
Well, Donald may be nuts, but he's got the right idea.
Kill the cow.
Oh, no, Charlie! The cow was their best friend.
Well, a friend in need is a friend indeed.
So, they need some steak.
No! If you're gonna kill the cow, I don't wanna hear the rest of the story.