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Home on the Range | Part 4

Quotes Good, I'm not too late. Sorry. Still stakin' out your quarry, huh? Yeah, pretty much. Why? Listen, I came to warn you, one equine to another, about Rico. As soon as he nabs that rustler he's gonna be in a big hurry to collect that reward. So? So?! Once he catches his man, that's when the horsewhip comes out and he's not shy about using it, either! Horsewhip? Horsewhip! And not only are you gonna be carrying Rico but that rustler as well. Have you seen that guy? He's huge! What should I do? Run! OK. Yeah, run like the wind, partner, and save yourself! I'm going! Go on, take off! Fade! Ride into the sunset! All righty, I'm outta here! Scram! OK, thanks, buddy! I owe you one! Godspeed, my friend! So long, sucker! He must be takin' stupid lessons from that buffalo. Can't you morons count to yourselves? Come on. Gotta start all over! There he is. Come on, let's go! Hold on! You're both forgetting Slim's hypnotic control over those with less than perfect pitch. Jack, I hope you can forgive me. For what, missy? Aah! For that. Now, you watch it there, toots! Grace, how practical! Done countin'! What do we got? 4997 What? Huh? Wait, wait, what? I thought you said 5,000 even. Of course I did. Gil must've just miscounted, that's all. There's one up there! The others can't be far behind. Just you watch. You're gonna like this. Yodeling's an art. What's the deal, Slimbo? Maybe she wasn't an art lover. Philistine! Shut up, you greenhorns! A bovine ain't been born that can resist my charms. Watch your back, Uncle Slim! Got you! Where do you think you're going? Now, Jack! OK! What in the rootin'tootin' blazes is goin' on here?! Uncle Slim! Uncle Slim! Let's get outta here! Come back here, dog meat! Jackpot! We got him now! Well done! Watch out! It's Buck! Hey, Casey Jones grab the bills and fire up the getaway express! I gave up clown college for this? It's Slim! I got Slim! Rico's gonna be so proud of me! Thank you! Leave me alone! Sorry. Uncle Slim! Uncle Slim! Quick, girls, in here! That was Rico! What in blue blazes? I'll knock you into next Tuesday! Come back here! You're going down! Get this off of me! Uncle Slim! Uncle Slim! Rico's saddle! I'm wearing Rico's saddle! Surprise! We made it, girls! We made it! Ladies, we got company! Whoa! Stop! Stop! Hit the brake! Look out! I guess I gotta do everything around here myself! Call me crazy, but I think these cows got it in for me. Maybe they just don't like your singing. Shut up! Mr. Weaseley, my money, if you please. I was just keeping it safe for you, Slim. Sure you were. Protecting my investments is what I pay this fellow for. Mr. Weaseley, let me present the most traitorous, doublecrossin' gun for hire that I've ever had the pleasure to call partnerRico. You're too kind, boss. No, it can't be. His reputation as a bounty hunter is wellknown but lately he's been doing a little moonlighting and covering my tracks. Rico's going to see you to the border so that nothing else goes wrong. Now, if you'll all pardon me there's a little Patch of Heaven on the auction block this morning. He's going to buy our farm! I don't know how you got here, skittish but stick with me, and you may get to like the other side of the law. Get on there! All right, come on! Come on! Move it, Bessie! Get in there! Hurry up! You don't want to be late for that big roundup in the sky! Get in there! Come on, you stupid cows! Come on! Lovely. Now get the engine fired up and let's make tracks. Make a break for it, ladies! Run! Buck, have you gone crazy?! That's entirely possible! Or maybe I just figured out who the real heroes are! Wait! What if this is some kind of trick? This isn't a trick! It's a miracle! Come on! So you think you got the drop on me well, think again! This is useless. Let's put our heads together. More brains and less brawn. All right! OK, Caloway, fetch! Lucky shot! Mother of mercy. Is this the end of Rico? Bravo! You stopped Rico cold! T'weren't nothin'. Fat lot of good it done us. Alameda Slim has already flown the coop.
She's right. Unless we sprout wings, we'll never make it back in time. I can't believe what I'm hearing. This train goes right by Patch of Heaven. What is in the cud you've been chewin'? How are we supposed to drive that thing? How? How? I'll tell you how! The same way we walked off the farm into the unknown. The same way we fought off those burly barmaids. And the same way we braved the western wilderness without the benefit of food or water. We caught Slim once, and we shall do it again! Who's with me? Get out of here, you bulls! Head for the hills! Let's get it on! Cows rule! Howdy, darlin'! Down here! Yeah! Looklook down! Hello there! Oh, no! I got two words for you guys cold shower! We don't have time for this nonsense! We have a farm to save! Well, maybe we can help you. Maybe we can help each Other! Bye! Come up and see us sometime! Oh, no! It's the Morning Express! There's a switch up ahead! Way ahead of you, pops! Hop on! Come on, mule! Let's ride! Roadhogs! See you back at the farm, girls! Good luck! This happens all the time. Sold! All property and livestock Sold! All property and livestock formerly known as Patch of Heaven is hereby sold to Mr. Yancy O'Del. Pleasure doing business with you. O'Del's the name, foreclosure's the game. Well, just set yourself over yonder. Sign this deed, and the property is all yours. Much obliged, sheriff. There it is! Home and hearth! And a holy hallelujah of a curve! Oh, quick, the brakes! No time for that! But won't we jump the tracks? We are makin' our own tracks! This is going to be messy! The whole territory belongs to me. Huh? Five cents for these chicks. Come on, now, do I hear two cents? Behind you! Bbehind you! Whoa! Whoa! Hold your britches! Come on, now! Run for your lives! Watch yourself! What's the idea of crashing your train on my property? It can't be! Hold it right there! Piggies, it's time to open up a can of whoophide! Get away from there! You wanna get nuts? Let's get nuts! It's Alameda Slim! You think you've won? It ain't over till the fat man sings! Alameda Slim, you're under arrest. Nobody messes with Pearl's girls! Say, girls, got milk? Buck! Just kidding. Take him away, boys! Hope you like stripes. Pearl, your cows can't do much with Slim's reward money. Think you can find some use for it? My farm is saved! Where's Maggie? I can't believe she just left. I'm gonna miss her. So shall l, Grace. Her brash manner, her bullheadedness. She risked her life for us, and who are we but strangers? We were privileged to know her. She was a cow like no other! Right down to her appalling bodily eruptions. Ahh, that was good! Maggie! I was just having one for the road when I heard all the nice stuff you guys were saying about me. You know, maybe I could hang around a while. How about forever? Oh! It's your call, Caloway. Is this barnyard big enough for the both of us? Only if you let me wear the hat. Come on, move your hides, girls. Last one to the barn sleeps standing up! OK, everyone, big smiles! So it was that Alameda Slim the most notorious and feared cattle rustler was apprehended and unmasked by three unusual dairy cows. How many times I got to tell you to wait your turn? How many times have I got to tell you to get out of my barrel It's so nice that Jeb finally found a friend. Here they come, everybody! Well done! Well, hi ho, ladies! Hey, Barry, three queens, two kings? Full house. And the joker is wild.

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Home on the Range (2004)
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part 3
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part 4