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MERLIN: A dark age indeed! Age of inconvenience. No plumbing, no electricity, no nothing! Oh, you fiendish chain you! Everything complicated. One big medieval mess. Now, let me see. He should be here in, I'd say half an hour.
ARCHIMEDES: Who? I'd like to know who.
MERLIN: I told you, Archimedes. I am not sure. All I know is that someone will be coming. Someone very important.
ARCHIMEDES: Oh, pinfeathers!
MERLIN: Fate will direct him to me so that I, in turn may guide him to his rightful place in the world.
ARCHIMEDES: And you say he will arrive in half an hour?
MERLIN: Well, we'll just see. And you will, Archimedes. You will. He'll be a boy. Small boy. Eleven, twelve years old. And a scrawny little fellow. Oh, no. That can't be the one. Surely not. Why, that big lad must be close onto 20. There he is. The scrawny little fellow about 12. He's a regular little grasshopper. Look at him go.
ARCHIMEDES: And where would you guess he is at this very moment?
MERLIN: I am not guessing, Archimedes! I know where he is! Less than a mile from here just beyond the forest. And right on schedule, if all goes well. SIR KAY: Quiet, Wart.
WART: I'm tryin' to be.
SIR KAY: And nobody asked you to come along in the first place.
WART: I'm not even movin'.
SIR KAY: Shut up. Here we go. Oh, what a set up. Right smack through the old gizzard. WART: What?
SIR KAY: Why, you clumsy, little fool!
WART: Oh, Kay, please, I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. Please.
SIR KAY: If I ever get my hands on, on you, I'll ring your scrawny little neck, so help me, I will.
WART: I'll get the arrow, Kay. I'm sure I can find it.
SIR KAY: Don't tell me you're going in there. Why, it's swarming with wolves.
WART: I'm not afraid.
SIR KAY: Well, go ahead. It's your skin, not mine. Go on.
WART: There it is.
MERLIN: So, you, you did drop in for tea after all. Oh, you are a bit late, you know.
WART: Oh, I am?
MERLIN: Yes. Now, my name is Merlin. Come, who are you, my lad?
WART: Oh, my name's Arthur, but everyone calls me Wart. MERLIN: Oh,
WART: what a perfect stuffed owl.
ARCHIMEDES: Stuff? I beg your pardon!
WART: He's alive and he talks.
ARCHIMEDES: And certainly a great deal better than you do.
MERLIN: Oh, come, Archimedes. I want you to meet the Wart. Now, you must forgive him. He's only a boy.
ARCHIMEDES: Boy? Well, I see no boy.
MERLIN: He's much too sensitive. ARCHIMEDES: Sensitive?
WART: How did you know that I was.
MERLIN: Oh, that you would be dropping in? Well, I happen to be a wizard. A soothsayer. A prognosticator. I have the power to see into the future. Centuries into the future! I've even been there, lad. And I've seen all these things. They're only plans and small models, of course, you know. Now, this for instance is a steam locomotive. There she goes. Pretty good, eh? Now, that won't be invented for hundreds of years!
WART: You mean you can see everything before it happens?
MERLIN: Yes, everything.
ARCHIMEDES: Everything, Merlin?
MERLIN: No, not everything. I admit I didn't know whom to expect for tea. But as you can see I figured the exact place.
WART: You're very clever, sir.
MERLIN: Yes. Well, never mind the, the, the sir. Just, uh, plain Merlin will do. Now, would, would you care for sugar? WART: Oh, yes, I would, please.
MERLIN: All right. Sugar. Sugar? No, no, manners, manners, manners! Guests first, you know that! All right. Say when, lad. When! Have you had any schooling?
WART: Oh, yes! I'm training to be a squire. I'm learning the rules of combat and swordsmanship and and jousting and horsemanship.
MERLIN: Oh, yes, yes, very good. I mean a, a, a real education. Mathematics. History. Biology. Natural science. English. Latin. French. No. When! When! Blast it all! When! Impudent piece of crockery. Boy, now, you can't You can't grow up without a decent education, you know.
WART: Oh, I suppose not, sir Merlin.
MERLIN: So, I am going to be your tutor.
WART: But I've got to get back to the castle. They'll want me in the kitchen.
MERLIN: Oh, well. Then very well. We'll pack and be on our way.
ARCHIMEDES: You watch now. You'll like this.
A legend when England was young
The Sword In The Stone part 1
Everyone calls me Wart