(Former captains of the Axiom: Captain Rearoon 2105-2248, Captain Fee 2248-2379, Captain Thompson 2380-2520, Captain Brace 2521-2645, Captain O'Brien 2646-2774, Captain B. McCrea 2775-?)
CAPTAIN: All hands on deck!
PR-T THE BEAUTICIAN-BOT: Morning. Just a trim? Uh-huh. I see. I know, honey. I know. I'm good, I am good. You look gorgeous.
AUTO: Sir, the annual...
CAPTAIN: First things first.
Computer, status report
AUTO: Sir, the annual reconnaissance...
CAPTAIN: 12:30! Auto, why didn't you wake me for morning announcements? Honestly, it's the one thing I get to do on this ship. Well, good morning, everybody, and
welcome to day 255,642
aboard the Axiom. As always, the weather is a balmy 72 degrees and sunny and... Oh, I see the ship's log is showing that today is our 700th anniversary of our five-year cruise. Well, I'm sure our forefathers would be proud to know that
700 years later we'd be doing the exact same thing they were doing
Fore! So, be sure next mealtime to ask for your free septuacentennial
cupcake in a cup. Wow, look at that! Also today we have a... Hey, Auto, what's that flashing button?
Probe One has returned positive
CAPTAIN: But no probe's ever come back positive before.
SHIP'S COMPUTER: Buy N Large
SHELBY FORTHRIGHT, BNL CEO: Greetings and congratulations, Captain. If you are seeing this, that means your Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator or EVE probe, has returned from Earth with a confirmed specimen. That's right. It means
it's time to go back home
CAPITAIN: Operate Manual. Uh... Manual, relay instructions. Manual? Wow. Will you look at that? Let's see.
CAPITAIN: Well, let's open her up. Step one. Voice command, 'Confirm acquisition.
SHIP'S COMPUTER: Confirm acquisition.
SHIP'S COMPUTER: Voice authorization required.
SHIP'S COMPUTER: Uh... Accepted.
CAPITAIN: Where's the thingie?
CAPITAIN: Plant. Right. Right. Where is it? Maybe we missed a step. Show me how you change...
EVE: WALL-E. WALL-E!
CAPITAIN: Why don't you scan her to be sure?
AUTO: Contains no specimen. Probe's memory is faulty.
CAPITAIN: So then, we're not going to Earth?
I guess things go back to normal
AUTO: Correct, Captain.
CAPITAIN: Well, false alarm!
SHIP'S COMPUTER: False alarm.
CAPITAIN: The probe must be defective. GO-4, send her to the repair ward, and have them run diagnostics on her. Make sure she's not... Ah!
Have WALL-E cleaned
WALL-E: Yoo-hoo! EVE.
SHIP'S COMPUTER: Analysis. Foreign contaminant. Substance is a three-phase system composed of various combinations of naturally derived solids. Subject is most commonly referred to as soil, dirt, or earth.
CAPITAIN: Earth? Hmm. Define "earth."
SHIP'S COMPUTER: Earth, the surface of the world as distinct from the sky or sea.
CAPITAIN: Wow. Define sea.
SHIP'S COMPUTER: Sea, an expanse of salt water that covers most of the Earth's surface and surrounds its landmasses.
M-O: Foreign contaminant. Whoa!
WALL-E: EVE. Whoa!
PR-T THE BEAUTICIAN-BOT: Just a trim? You look gorgeous.
SHIP'S COMPUTER: Clear, clear, clear.
WALL-E: Whoa! EVE! EVE!
EVE: WALL-E. WALL-E!
SHIP'S COMPUTER: Oh, my.
SHIP'S COMPUTER: Caution. Rogue robots. Caution. Rogue robots. Caution. Rogue robots.
SECURE-T: Halt! Halt!
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