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MOO SLEECH: Why didn't you ask? RoboCrusher, 46-21.
ROGER KLOTZ: Well its about time. Humph!
AL SLEECH: Phase one complete.
DOUG FUNNIE: Roger.
ROGER KLOTZ: What?
DOUG FUNNIE: Nice jacket?
ROGER KLOTZ: Yeah right.
GUY GRAHAM: Hey,
looking for someone?
PATTI MAYONNAISE: Oh Guy, you scared me.
SKEETER: Are you sure, nothing supposed to shop up around 8:30? From Bluffco?
GUARD: Nope, they made their delivery hours ago.
PATTI MAYONNAISE: Nobody's dancing, maybe we should go out and break the ice?
GUY GRAHAM: You took the words right out of my mouth. Only let's wait a couple minutes.
PATTI MAYONNAISE: Why?
GUY GRAHAM: Because I said so. I mean, let's just wait, over here, please?
SKEETER: Herman's already here.
DOUG FUNNIE: What?
SKEETER: They already got Herman here someplace, look around quick.
MOO SLEECH: 8:30!
AL SLEECH: He
must be right in the middle of everything.
DOUG FUNNIE: In the middle.
BLUFF AGENT: Stand by. Wait for it.
DOUG FUNNIE: The heart.
PATTI MAYONNAISE: Oh Guy.
DOUG FUNNIE: I had to
make the hardest decision of my life.
Going after Patti, or saving Herman.
BLUFF ASSISTANT: Just in timer sir. We're just about to break the heart.
GUY GRAHAM: What's he doing?
BLUFF AGENT: The hour is approaching. Hold your fire, get these kids out of the way.
DOUG FUNNIE: No Herman. Stay, stay! C'mon Skeet let's get him outta here.
ROBOCRUSHER: I'm a monster!
BLUFF AGENT: It's over there. It's over there. Go, go, go. Fire.
SKEETER: I think we're ready, get the wig.
DOUG FUNNIE: OK, OK. C'mon Herman.
GUY GRAHAM: My goodness, a crazed monster. Thank goodness I alerted Mr. Bluff's agents in time to protect the citizens of Bluffington.
AGENTS: Coming though, coming through. Approach with caution. Approach with caution.
ROBOCRUSHER: Roger, Roger. Somebody take this.
BLUFF AGENT: Take him! What is it?
AGENT: Looks like clean underwear sir.
SKEETER: Here you go Herman, it's clean water. Go, go!
DOUG FUNNIE: This is it Herman, you have to go. Now, hurry, before they get here.
SKEETER: Home. This is your new home.
DOUG FUNNIE: Not now, Herman. Not now.
BLUFF AGENT: There it is. You three, freeze.
DOUG FUNNIE: Alright! Go Herman! Go!
MR. BILL BLUFF: Where is it?
SKEETER: The monster's in the lake Mr. Bluff, 10 miles long and 5 miles wide.
You're welcome to start looking.
MR. BILL BLUFF: You! Well
you two must be pretty smart.
Well we'll see how smart you are when I get through with you. Because from now on, I will dedicate every waking hour to making the rest of your days, a living, writhing, pain-wracked nightmare.
BEEBE BLUFF: Daddy, knock it off.
MR. BILL BLUFF: But sugarpie. I was just trying.
BEEBE BLUFF: Doug and Skeeter are my friends, such as they are, if you have something to tell them, please discuss it with me.
MR. BILL BLUFF: But Beebekins, honey I.
MAYOR TIPPI DINK: Bill, I think you should discuss your pollution problems, with me.
MR. BILL BLUFF: Mayor Dink! Oh yes of course, certainly, certainly.
MAYOR TIPPI DINK: Meanwhile, it's cold out here,
shouldn't you kids be inside dancing?
DOUG FUNNIE: Patti, I've been trying to call you.
Looks like you were pretty busy.
DOUG FUNNIE: This? Oh, this is what we disguised the monster in.
PATTI MAYONNAISE: Not that again.
DOUG FUNNIE: But it's true. See, he was like a friend to us. He was so great, I wanted to tell you more than anybody but I couldn't I didn't want to put you in danger or get him into trouble because, Patti? Are you OK Patti? Herman! What are you?
PATTI MAYONNAISE: Monster.
SKEETER: I'm glad you came back man. I forgot, I brought you something. Remember this? Herman Melville's works? It's not only a momento, it's tasty snack in case you get hungry. No, it's good, I tried it you were right, yummy.
DOUG FUNNIE: What is it Herman? Is something the matter? Did you pick this for me? Is it for Skeeter? Patti?
SKEETER: I think I got something in my eye.
GUY GRAHAM: Who gave you that?
PATTI MAYONNAISE: Humph! How could you?
GUY GRAHAM: Oh please, all this fuss over a big stinky lizard. I may throw up, we're outta here, you comin' or what?
PATTI MAYONNAISE: Guy.
GUY GRAHAM: What?
PATTI MAYONNAISE: You're outta here.
SKEETER: Goodbye Herman.
I hope you like your new home.
I'll miss you.
DOUG FUNNIE: Wait! I'll miss you too man.
PATTI MAYONNAISE: I can't believe I let Guy fool me like that.
Sorry I didn't trust you,
DOUG FUNNIE: Well none of it would have ever happened if I wasn't trying so hard to impress you.
PATTI MAYONNAISE: What Doug?
BEEBE BLUFF: Sounds like the dance has started up again.
PATTI MAYONNAISE: What were you going to say Doug?
DOUG FUNNIE: Well I.
ROGER KLOTZ: Hey! Psst, Funnie. You hoo!
DOUG FUNNIE: Just a second. Everytime I get a chance.
ROGER KLOTZ: I just wanted to thank you and the guys for getting rid of my uh, robot problem.
DOUG FUNNIE: That's OK, no problem Roger.
ROGER KLOTZ: Thanks man, you're a.
ROBOCRSUHER: There you are, oh you forgot your jacket. Roger, Roger.
DOUG FUNNIE: Well maybe we could, should check out this dance huh?
PATTI MAYONNAISE: Or not?
DOUG FUNNIE: Oh, OK cool.
PATTI MAYONNAISE: We can here the music from here.
DOUG FUNNIE: Oh! Ssso, you just wanna listen?
PATTI MAYONNAISE: No.
DOUG FUNNIE: Oh, you mean you, do you would you?
PATTI MAYONNAISE: Sure!
BEEBE BLUFF: What are you thinking about Skeet-ski?
BEEBE BLUFF: Oh but look, Doug and Patti are dancing, doesn't that give you any ideas?
SKEETER: Uh, no?
BEEBE BLUFF: Skeeter Valentine, dance me!
DOUG FUNNIE: So journal, that was Valentine's day. Up to the last minute, I thought that everyone, especially Patti, would think I was a big loser. But like Mayor Tippy said, it's important to do the right thing, no matter what everyone else thinks. And maybe because he followed her advice, things are just a little bit better in Bluffington, Mr. Bluff volunteered to clean up Lucky Duck Lake. And Patti and I danced on the dock under the moon for quite some time. I wouldn't have minded if it had gone on forever.
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Watch other parts of movie
Doug's 1st Movie (1999)
2 going to the dance
3 can you get that
4 have big news
5 right thing to do
6 welcome to our school
7 know where to get
8 like your new home