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To do that, I gotta make test scores go up, and
to make test scores go up, I gotta keep kids in class
where they belong. That's why, starting tomorrow, I am tuning out recess once and for all.
PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY: Needless to say, Phillium's plan didn't go over all that well.
PROTESTER: What do we want?
PROTESTER: When do we want it?
PROTESTER: What do we want? When do we want it?
CROWD: Recess! Now!
DR. PHILLIUM BENEDICT: Be cool, people, be cool. You're bumming my mellowness.
PROTESTER: We'll be cool when you give our kids their recess back.
DR. PHILLIUM BENEDICT: Hey, baby, I'll do what I want. I'm principal of the school, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Dig?
MAN: It's not right!
SUPERINTENDENT: People, people, please calm down. Mr. Prickly here has informed me of this no recess proposal. Let me assure you that as long as I'm superintendent, this radical plan will never be carried out in this district.
DR. PHILLIUM BENEDICT: Hey, man, you just don't get it!
SUPERINTENDENT: Of course I do, Benedict. That's why I'm replacing you.
DR. PHILLIUM BENEDICT: What?
from now on, you will be principal.
PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY: Who, me?
DR. PHILLIUM BENEDICT: Oh, I see what's going down here. You tricked me, went around my back to the man to get my job!
PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY: No, Phil, it's not like that at all.
DR. PHILLIUM BENEDICT: Yeah, right! Come on, Muriel baby, let's blow this scene.
MS. FINSTER: No, Phil, it's over. I could never be with a
man who doesn't love recess.
DR. PHILLIUM BENEDICT: So you're against me too. Well, fine. I don't need you. I don't need anyone! Aaah!
PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY: Phil! You okay, man?
DR. PHILLIUM BENEDICT: Don't touch me! You took my chick. You took my job. Well, enjoy it while you can, Petey boy, 'cause you're gonna pay. Somehow, someway, you're gonna pay.
PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY: I never saw Phillium again. He quit teaching, went into politics, eventually became secretary of education until the president fired him for trying to get rid of recess again. Only this time it was nationwide.
T.J. DETWEILER: So that guy's some weirdo ex-teacher who wants to get rid of recess?
PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY: Mm-hmm.
T.J. DETWEILER: Okay. Now it's personal.
GRETCHEN GRUNDLER: Let's see: weather maps, some stuff in Norwegian, a Farmer's Almanac.
Must be something in here that'll explain
what that Dr. Benedict is doing.
ASHLEY SPINELLI: I'll tell you one thing he's not doing having lunch tomorrow at 12:22 with his little girlfriend.
MIKEY BLUMBERG: Spinelli, that's the man's personal date book.
ASHLEY SPINELLI: Well, it's mine now, and I guess Miss Luna Pergum is gonna be at the restaurant all by herself.
GRETCHEN GRUNDLER: Who did you say?
ASHLEY SPINELLI: The girl whose name is in here Luna Pergum. Must be some Italian chick.
GRETCHEN GRUNDLER: Lunae perigeum. Of course!
VINCE LASALLE: What are you talking about?
GRETCHEN GRUNDLER: Don't you understand? Lunae perigeum is no lady. It's an event. Look. Once a month, the moon reaches the point where it's closest to the Earth, lunar perigee, which in this case happens to be 12:22 tomorrow afternoon.
GUS GRISWALD: Maybe that's when that doctor guy is gonna shoot his laser at the moon and blow it up.
GRETCHEN GRUNDLER: Close guess, but I have another theory. When I was up at space camp, I observed some abnormalities in the moon's position. I couldn't figure out what was causing it, but now it all makes sense. Dr. Benedict's device is not a laser beam at all. It's a tractor beam!
MIKEY BLUMBERG: You mean he's gonna plow the moon's surface? Whatever will he plant?
ASHLEY SPINELLI: Not a tractor, you goombah. A tractor beam.
Like from a science fiction movie.
GRETCHEN GRUNDLER: Precisely. Theoretically, if a powerful tractor beam were shot at the moon exactly at lunar perigee, it could move the moon into another orbit.
VINCE LASALLE: Move the moon? But why would anybody want to do that?
GRETCHEN GRUNDLER: Who knows, Vince? Who knows?
T.J. DETWEILER: Here we are, sir.
PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY: I can't believe you have been creeping around in these vents. They're school property.
T.J. DETWEILER: Dang! The line's dead. Hey, what did you do with the walkie-talkie you confiscated from me last week?
PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY: Top drawer, on the right. Just look what Phil's done to my office. I had it all nice and clean for the summer.
T.J. DETWEILER: Packs of gum, yo-yos, my old baseball. Hey, I've been looking for this. Here it is my walkie-talkie. Now
all I gotta do is contact the guys
and. Oh, no.
PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY: What is it, Detweiler? I told 'em that guy was a nut.
T.J. DETWEILER: Hello! Hello! Is anybody there?
VINCE LASALLE: It's T.J.! T.J., buddy, you're okay?
T.J. DETWEILER: Yeah, I'm fine, and so is Principal Prickly.
VINCE LASALLE: Principal Prickly?
T.J. DETWEILER: I don't have time to explain, but I think we've figured out what Benedict is up to. He's trying to get rid of summer vacation!
MIKEY BLUMBERG: No!
T.J. DETWEILER: Guys, don't freak out on me! I got a plan! All we do is. Heh heh. Why, Mr. Bald Guy, what a surprise.
ASHLEY SPINELLI: T.J.! T.J.!
GRETCHEN GRUNDLER: It's dead!
MIKEY BLUMBERG: They must've got him!
GUS GRISWALD: What are we gonna do?
VINCE LASALLE: There's only one thing we can do:
we gotta get help.
BECKY DETWEILER: Bow-wow! Welcome to Floppy Burger. May I take your order, please?
VINCE LASALLE: Becky, this is Vince.
BECKY DETWEILER: What are you doing here?
ASHLEY SPINELLI: It's not just Vince, it's me, Gretchen, everybody. We got a problem!
BECKY DETWEILER: I got a problem too, six dweeby ten year olds who won't leave me alone, even when I'm at work. I am a professional! So whatever your little problem is, forget it!
GRETCHEN GRUNDLER: But it's about T.J.
GUS GRISWALD: He's in trouble, and he needs your help.
BECKY DETWEILER: Well, isn't that nice? After stealing my diary, threatening to put it on the Internet and making me drive across the state three times, he needs my help? Give me one good reason why I should help him.
MIKEY BLUMBERG: 'Cause he's your little brother, and he needs you.
BECKY DETWEILER: Please pull forward to the second drive thru window.
DR. PHILLIUM BENEDICT: A confiscated walkie talkie. Why do you do these things? Do you enjoy tormenting me? Do you hate me?
PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY: I don't hate you, Phil. I just think you're insane.
DR. PHILLIUM BENEDICT: Insane. Well, there you go again, Pete. Insulting me, hurting my feelings, just like 30 years ago. Only this time, Petey, I'm ready. You see, all those years, no matter how big I got, no matter how successful, I always thought about you. How you embarrassed me! How you humiliated me! How you destroyed my relationship with Muriel Finster, the only woman I ever loved!
T.J. DETWEILER: That part still grosses me out, sir.
PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY: Shh.
DR. PHILLIUM BENEDICT: This time, Pete, I'm gonna humiliate you.
I'm gonna prove to the world that
you were wrong and I was right.
PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY: About what?
DR. PHILLIUM BENEDICT: About recess! About freedom! About test scores! I've found a way to prove my theory. I'm gonna get rid of the biggest recess of them all.
I am gonna get rid of summer vacation.
T.J. DETWEILER: You fiend!
DR. PHILLIUM BENEDICT: Fiend. Try to help people, that's the thanks you get.
PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY: It'll never work, Phil.
DR. PHILLIUM BENEDICT: Well, actually, Pete, that's where you're wrong. You see, all I have to do is modify the moon's orbit ever so slightly, and tide levels on the Eastern Seaboard rise eight feet. Move the moon over here, and the currents that warm California suddenly become ice-cold. Summer, as we know it, will become a thing of the past. And without summer, no summer vacation.
T.J. DETWEILER: You'll never get away with this, Benedict.
DR. PHILLIUM BENEDICT: Oh, yeah? Well, who's gonna stop me?
BECKY DETWEILER: Wow, I can't believe my little brother actually stumbled on a real, live evil conspiracy.
GRETCHEN GRUNDLER: That's our Theodore.
GUS GRISWALD: You should see the crates of soda they left back there.
MIKEY BLUMBERG: And boxes of mustard and ketchup too. Mmm, tomato-ey.
BECKY DETWEILER: Hey, that's stuff's the property of Floppy Burger International.
ASHLEY SPINELLI: Quit your gabbin' and step on it. We need reinforcements.
MS. FINSTER: I'm telling you, a troop of ninja warriors is using 3rd Street School as a secret jujitsu training ground.
COP 2: Ninja warriors. Elementary school. Jujitsu training ground? Hey, lady, aren't you forgetting the magic laser beam?
MS. FINSTER: I'm serious!
COP 1: So are we. Hey, I got an idea. Why don't you go home, get some rest and we'll make a personal call tojackie Chan.
COP 2: Yeah, he's the perfect man for a job like this.
MS. FINSTER: I'm telling ya, something is going on in that school!
T.J. DETWEILER: Help! Help! Somebody get us outta here!
PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY: Calm down, Detweiler.
T.J. DETWEILER: Calm down? We're locked in a giant birdcage while a madman's trying to destroy summer vacation, and you want me to calm down?
PRINCIPAL PETER PRICKLY: I understand, but I.
T.J. DETWEILER: How can you understand? You're just a grownup. What do you know about summer vacation?
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Watch songs from original soundtrack and other parts of movie
Dancing In The Street
Nobody But Me
Let The Sunshine In
Recess School's Out (2001)
2 going to baseball camp
3 let me look at that
4 to do stuff like this
5 do better next time
6 make test scores go up
7 kids on the playground
8 take away summer vacation