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Quotes from You've Got Mail film 1
Listen to this: The entire work force of Virginia had solitaire removed from their computers because they hadn't done any work in six weeks. Aren't you late? Name me one thing that we've gained from technology. Electricity. That's one. You think this machine's your friend, but it's not. I'm out of here. See you tonight! Sushi! Bye! Welcome. Computer screen: You've got mail. Joe Fox (NY152): Brinkley is my dog. We both love New York streets. Although he likes to eat pizza off the sidewalk and I prefer to buy it. Brinkley is a great catcher who was offered a tryout on the Mets. But he chose to stay with me so he could spend 18 hours a day sleeping on a large pillow the size of an inner tube. I'm almost ready. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms. Did you push it? Yes, I pushed it. I'm so late. Tonight, PEN dinner. Am I going? You promised! It's black-tie. Can't I just give money instead? I'm in favor of that. Okay, I'll go. You're late. I know. Who's a happy dog? All right. Okay. Get down, get down. Kathleen Kelly (Shopgirl): Dear friend: I like to start my notes to you as if we're already in the middle of a conversation. I pretend that we're the oldest and dearest friends as opposed to what we actually are. What will NY152 say today? I wonder. I hear nothing, not even a sound on the streets of New York. Just the beat of my own heart. I have mail from you. So he won't be here till tomorrow. And upstairs, the shelves are late because the pine we ordered has beetles. Very good. And we got a $50,000 ticket for workers peeing off the roof. That is great. Is the electrician here? I just told you he hit a deer. I knew you weren't listening to me. You're right. I wasn't. I hear nothing. Not a sound on the city streets, just the beat of my own heart. I think that's how it goes. Something like that. You and Patricia got engaged, didn't you? You can tell me. Engaged? Are you crazy? I thought you liked Patricia. I do. I love Patricia. Patricia's amazing. She makes coffee nervous. We should announce ourselves to the neighborhood: Here we come. Kevin Jackson: This is the Upper West Side. We might as well tell them we're opening a crack house. They're going to hate us. They'll be lining up to picket the big bad chain store that's out to destroy. Joe Fox: Everything they hold dear. They're going to hate us at the beginning but we'll get them in the end. And you know why? Why? Because we'll sell cheap books and legal addictive stimulants. In the meantime, we'll just put up a big sign: Coming Soon, a Fox Books Superstore. Good morning, Christina. Morning, Kathleen. Isn't it just the most beautiful day? I guess. Yeah, sure. Idiot, what are you doing? I got the green light! Don't you love New York in the fall? Perfect. Can't beat that. Scotch tape? What is going on with you? Nothing. You're in love. In love? No. Yes, that's right! I'm in love with Frank. I'm practically living with Frank. Could you get our Christmas mailers out this week? By Monday, I promise. I have this paper due Friday. What is going on? Nothing at all. You know, I am just going to stand here until you tell me. All right. Christina Plutzker: Have you had sex? Kathleen Kelly: No, I don't even know him. Christina Plutzker: I mean cybersex. Don't do it. The minute you do, they lose all respect for you. Kathleen Kelly: It's not like that. We just e-mail. On my birthday, I wandered into the over 30 room for a joke, sort of. And he was there. And we started chatting. Kathleen Kelly: About what? Kathleen Kelly: Books and music, how much we both love New York. Harmless, harmless. Meaningless. Bouquets of sharpened pencils. Excuse me? Forget it. We don't talk about anything personal, so... He could be the next person to walk into the store. I know. He could be George. Morning. Good morning, Birdie. What are you girls talking about? Cybersex. I tried once, but I kept getting a busy signal. I know. I was really depressed one Saturday night about 9:00 Time to open up! Jessica and Maya, how are you today? Want to say hi to Kathleen? Hi, Kathleen. May I help you? Construction's going well. We should open on time. Although Kevin and I are concerned about the neighborhood response. This fabric on the couch, what is it? Money. Its name is money. Gillian selected it. Good guess. Your father's getting married again. Really? Congratulations! Why? Who knows? Love? Possible. You're a damn fool! Pops, Matthew is four years old, okay? It'd be nice if his parents were married. Listen, I have a sad announcement to make. City Books on 23rd Street. It's going under. Another independent bites the dust. On to the next! Going to buy out their inventory of architecture and New York history for the new store. How much you paying, son? It won't be as much as that uncomfortable mohair episode there which is now all over my suit. Here you go. We'll also have a section dedicated to writers from the West Side. As a sop to the neighborhood. Schuyler Fox: What's the competition? Joe Fox: One mystery store, Sleuth, at 78th and Amsterdam and a children's bookstore, Shop Around The Corner. It's been there forever. Schuyler Fox: Cecilia's store. Joe Fox: Who's that? Schuyler Fox: Cecilia Kelly. Nelson Fox: Stamps, envelopes. Joe Fox: I've heard of it. Cecilia had beautiful penmanship. She was too young for me but she was enchanting. Enchanting? Her daughter owns it now. Too bad for her. Excuse me, Mr. Fox. My father is getting married again. For 5 years, he's been living with Gillian who studied decorating at Caesar's Palace. Is it porcelain? Rubber. Once I read a story about a butterfly in the subway, and today I saw one. It got on at 42nd and off at 59th where, I assume it went to Bloomingdale's to buy a hat that will turn out to be a mistake. As almost all hats are. Listen to this: Every night a truck pulls up to my neighborhood bagel place and pumps a ton of flour into underground tanks. The air is filled with white dust which never seems to land. Why is that? Confession: I've read Pride and Prejudice about 200 times. I get lost in the language. Words like thither. Mischance. Felicity. I'm always in agony over whether Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are really going to get together. Read it. I know you'll love it. The purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, lite, dark caf, decaf lo w-fat, nonfat et cetera. Mocha frappuccino grande. So people who don 't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95 get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self. Tall! Decaf! Cappuccino! Tall decaf cappuccino.
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Joe Fox (NY152): Don't you love New York in the fall? Makes me want to buy school supplies.
Computer: Welcome, you've got mail. Kathleen Kelly (Shopgirl): People who don't know each other's names and met in a chat room where we both claimed we'd never been before.
Joe Fox: We're going to seduce them with our square footage and our discounts and our deep armchairs and our cappuccino.
Kathleen Kelly: Is it infidelity if you're involved with someone on e-mail?
Kathleen Kelly: I don't know his name or what he does or where he lives exactly so it'll be easy for me to stop seeing him, because I'm not.
Kathleen Kelly: I turn on my computer, I wait impatiently as it connects, I go online and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words: You've got mail
Christina Plutzker: Are you online? George Pappas: As far as I'm concerned the internet is just another way of being rejected by a woman.
Schuyler Fox: Lovely woman. I think we might have had a date once. Or maybe we just exchanged letters. Joe Fox: You wrote her letters? Schuyler Fox: Mail. It was called mail.