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WART: We sure will.
MERLIN: Now, first of all, lad we've got to get all these medieval ideas out of your head. Clear the way for new ideas. Knowledge of man's fabulous discoveries in the centuries ahead. Now that'll be a great advantage, boy.
ARCHIMEDES: Advantage, indeed! If the boy goes about saying the world is round, they'll take him for a lunatic.
WART: The world is round?
MERLIN:Yes, yes, that's right. And it also goes around.
WART: You mean it'll be round someday?
MERLIN: No. It's round now. Man will discover this in centuries to come. And he will also find that the world is merely a tiny speck in the universe.
ARCHIMEDES: Oh, you're only confusing the boy. Before you're through, he'll be so mixed up, he'll, he'll be wearing his shoes on his head. Man has always learned from the past. After all, you can't learn history in reverse. It's confusing enough, for heaven sakes.
MERLIN: All right! Have it your way, Archimedes. You're in charge. You're the headmaster now. So from now on, he's your pupil.
ARCHIMEDES: So, from now on, boy you do as I say. WART: Yes, sir.
ARCHIMEDES: All right. Now to start off, I want you to read these books.
WART: All of them?
ARCHIMEDES: That, my boy, is a mountain of knowledge.
WART: But I, but I can't read. ARCHIMEDES: What, what? What? Then I don't suppose you know how to write?
WART: No, sir.
ARCHIMEDES: What do you know? Well, never mind. We'll start at the bottom. The ABC's. First the A, and now the B. Loop and around and there's the C.
WART: Merlin. Look. I can write.
MERLIN: Yes. That's very good, boy.
ARCHIMEDES: Henscratch, that's all. Now, come on. D,E, F, and now the G.
WART: You see, it's as simple as...
ARCHIMEDES: No, boy! Now, use your head.
MERLIN: Use your head, will you? How do you ever expect to learn anything? Archimedes! Have you seen that flying machine model?
ARCHIMEDES: I have nothing to do with your futuristic fiddle-faddle, you know that.
WART: What's that thing up there?
MERLIN: Here we are.
WART: You mean man will fly in one of those someday?
ARCHIMEDES: If man were meant to fly, he'd have been born with wings.
MERLIN: I am about to prove otherwise, Archimedes if you care to watch. Here she goes.
ARCHIMEDES: Man'll fly all right. Just like a rock.
MERLIN: It would have worked if it weren't for this infernal beard! I never, never in my whole. Man will fly someday, I tell you. I have been there. I Have seen it.
WART: Oh, I do hope so. I've always dreamed about flying that I was a bird and that I could go sailing all over the sky high above everything.
WART: It's my favourite dream. But then I suppose everybody dreams about flying. I'm a bird!
MERLIN: Hold it, boy. Not so fast. Not so fast. First, I'd better explain the mechanics of a bird's wing. Now, these large feathers are called the primaries.
ARCHIMEDES: And, since when do you know all about birds' wings?
MERLIN: I have made an extensive study of birds in flight.
ARCHIMEDES: And if you don't mind, I happen to be a bird.
MERLIN: All right, Mr Know-It-All, he's your pupil.
ARCHIMEDES: Now, boy flying is not merely some crude mechanical process. It is a delicate art. Purely aesthetic. Poetry of motion. And the best way to learn it is to do it. Now, since we're pretty far up, we'll start with a glide. Spread your wings way out, way out. That's it. That's it. Now, fan your tail. Tippity-toe, tippity-toe, and off we go. Now, tuck your feet under, like me. That's it. That's the idea! Whoa! What? Oh! And don't fight the air currents. Use them. Well, say, boy! That's pretty good. Well, boy, you're a natural! Are you sure this is the first time that you've. Wart! Hawk! Look out, boy! Heads up! Wart! Archimedes! Help! Wart! Wart! Whoa! What? Oh!
MADAM MIM: Sounds like someone's sick. How lovely. I do hope it's serious. Something dreadful. Oh, bat gizzards. It's nothing but a scrawny little sparrow with a beak full of soot.
WART: Oh, I-I'm not really a sparrow. I'm a boy.
MADAM MIM: A boy?
WART: Merlin changed me with his magic. He's the world's most powerful wizard.
MADAM MIM: Merlin. Merlin, the world's most powerful bungler. Why, boy, I've got more magic in one little finger. Now, don't tell me you've never heard of the marvellous Madam Mim?
WART: Well, no, I don't guess so.
ARCHIMEDES: Madam Mim? Good heavens!
MADAM MIM: Why, boy, I'm the greatest. I'm truly marvellous! With only a touch I have the power Zim zab rim bim To whither a flower I find delight in the gruesome and grim
WART: Oh, that's terrible.
MADAM MIM: Thank you, my boy. But that's nothing, nothing for me. No! 'Cause I'm the magnificent marvellous, mad Madam Mim. You know what? I can even change size. I can be huge! Fill the whole house. I can be teeny Small as a mouse Black sorcery is my dish of tea Uh, it comes easy to me. Because I'm the magnificent marvellous, mad Madam Mim. Marvellous, boy! Marvellous, I'm marvellous! Say, lad, did you know that I can make myself uglier yet?
WART: Well, that would be some trick.
MADAM MIM: Er, um, ah, I mean, Want to bet? You see? I win, I win! Aren't I hideous, boy? Perfectly revolting?
WART: Well, uh, yes, ma'am.
MADAM MIM: But you ain't seen nothin' yet. Watch this. I can be beautiful lovely and fair Silvery voice long purple hair But it's only skin deep for zim zaberim zim I'm an ugly, old creep! The magnificent, marvellous mad Madam Mim. Now what do you think, boy? Who's the greatest? WART: Well, Merlin's magic is always, well, useful for something good.
MADAM MIM: And he must see something good in you.
WART: Oh, I suppose so.
That's pretty good
The Sword In The Stone part 6
The magnificent Madam Mim