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with Diane Keaton as Leah and Michael Douglas as Oren Little from 2014 movie directed by Rob Reiner, written by Mark Andrus
Quotes and pictures
LEAH: I don't understand why I have to talk between songs.
OREN LITTLE: Because
 people want to get to know you.
LEAH: People don't really...
OREN LITTLE: And the more they know you the more they like you.
LEAH: You think?
OREN LITTLE: Absolutely. I like you. And
 I don't like anybody.
LEAH: Oh, I see. Is this one of your backhanded compliments.
OREN LITTLE: Take it however you want. I'm just stating a fact.
LEAH: Yeah?
OREN LITTLE: And I love your songs. It wouldn't kill your act to throw
LEAH: Okay. Anything else?
OREN LITTLE: Well, since you bring it up. You're a very attractive woman. But some of your outfits they just don't do you justice.
LEAH: Besides my song selection, my patter and my physical appearance. You like the act?
OREN LITTLE: I love it.
LEAH: I'm just getting eaten alive here. Would you like to... I got an idea. Why don't you come inside.
OREN LITTLE: Sure.
LEAH: Okay.
OREN LITTLE: You know, it doesn't always have to be about you as part of a couple.
LEAH: What?
OREN LITTLE: When you talk to the audience, you should talk about yourself as an individual.
LEAH: Oh, God, yeah.
 As an individual, I'm not that interesting.
OREN LITTLE: You're interesting to me.
LEAH: Would you like something to drink?
OREN LITTLE: Thirst quenching type of drink or a leading to something kind of drink?
LEAH: Would you like a glass of wine?
OREN LITTLE: Sure.
LEAH: Okay. Honestly, I don't think an audience wants to hear me talk about my life.
OREN LITTLE: Sure they would.
 Tell me something about yourself that I would be surprised to hear.
LEAH: Okay, well, I used to collect antique lipstick cases.
OREN LITTLE: What else you got?
LEAH: See. I told you.
OREN LITTLE: I mean, tell me about your first crush.
LEAH: No, wait. Are you asking me as you, or are you asking me...
OREN LITTLE: I'm just asking about your first crush.
LEAH: Okay, all right. You really want to hear it? Okay, I was in 7th grade and I was at Amy Robinson's party and there was this boy, Bobby Zaden who was a total jerk. But he asked me to dance. And I don't know what happened. It was like a switch flipped and then suddenly I'm looking into these gorgeous blue eyes and we were dancing. And yeah, stepping on my feet but
 I didn't care because I was in love.
OREN LITTLE: You see that...
LEAH: Yeah?
OREN LITTLE:
 You see that is really that is interesting.
LEAH: Are we really doing this?
OREN LITTLE: I thought I was but if you don't want to...
LEAH: Well, no, it's not really that. It's just I mean, I don't it's been awhile for me.
OREN LITTLE: I know, it's been awhile for me too.
LEAH: Oh, is that because of your ACL?
OREN LITTLE: Yeah, it was totally rehabbed I might add.
LEAH: That's good.
OREN LITTLE: I just think it's important that we don't think of this as anything more than what it is.
LEAH: Well, what is it?
OREN LITTLE: Well, we're both adults, we can separate this from attachment.
LEAH: Yeah, I don't know about that.
OREN LITTLE: Come on. Sure, we're animals. We are animals. It's like a basic need. It's like water or food. You know what I'm talking about.
LEAH: Are you... Whoa! Okay, of all the starts that two people have every started, including teenagers and monkeys, this is possibly the worst start, what I consider a potentially intimate relationship.
OREN LITTLE: Come on, it's not that bad, is it?
LEAH: Oh, really? I had a dog once, that wouldn't leave my crotch alone and it was more romantic than this. It was way more romantic... oh, boy. It's... Better. Better. Yeah, okay.
LEAH (SINGING):
 I will be remembering the shadow of your smile.
LEAH: Every time. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.
OREN LITTLE: So I notice the crying has got back into the act.
LEAH: Well, at least I almost got through the song. I thought you were going to leave without saying goodbye.
OREN LITTLE: Well, I did try, but it didn't feel right.
LEAH: How human you're becoming, Oren.
OREN LITTLE: Not as human as you might think. I had no problem with the not saying goodbye part. You know, but a few miles outside of town I discovered that I had a big problem with the leaving part.
LEAH: Why might that be?
OREN LITTLE: I think you got some idea.
LEAH: If it's what I think it is, you're gonna have to say it.
OREN LITTLE: I couldn't live next door to you as a friend. I don't want to be your friend. I don't want to be in your good graces. I want to be with you. Would you like a ride home?
LEAH: Yes. Of course you know if we do this you have to spend the whole night.
OREN LITTLE: Really?
LEAH: Every night.
OREN LITTLE: Oh geez, I should have thought this whole thing through.
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