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| He didn't open any envelopes. FRANK KELLER: You find any records there? SHERMAN TOUHEY: What do you mean, like files? FRANK KELLER: Records, like old records, 45s. One was playing on the turntable. Sea of Love. Remember that one? SHERMAN TOUHEY: Sea of Love. Jesus. FRANK KELLER: Come with me my love / To the sea / The sea of love / I want to tell you / How much I love you. SHERMAN TOUHEY: Do you remember / When we met? / That's the day I knew you were my pet / I want to tell you / How much I love you. |
 Want to dance with a couple bridesmaids |
FRANK KELLER: Ok. Here's how we catch her. We put in our own ad.
SHERMAN TOUHEY: Say what?
FRANK KELLER: New York Weekly magazine. We put an ad in. 100 guys place ads in there a month. They get 30-50 responses each. That's 4,000-5,000 women. Do we go out with 5,000 women? Hell, no. She's into rhyming ads, so we put one in Moon, June, spoon, sand dune. We set up dates with 40-50 of them. We take them out some restaurant, some bar get prints on a wineglass. Bingo! She's dropped.
SHERMAN TOUHEY: That's horseshit, but I love it.
FRANK KELLER: Raymond, you take the time to make up this beautiful poem about loneliness and silence. You spring $300 to put the ad in the magazine. You spring another, say, 5 yards a month for some love nest in the village, 50 bucks for the post office box. You're telling us you never went out with them? |
 The most exotic place you ever made love |
Frank's father: I live alone within myself, like a hut within the woods. I keep my heart high upon the shelf, barren of other goods. I need another's arms to reach for it and place it where it belongs. I need another's touch and smile to fill my hut with songs.
FRANK KELLER: Not bad? It's a little corny, but it's good.
Frank's father: Frank's mother wrote that. In high school. 1934. She was a goddamn beautiful person. Go ahead. Use it.
Terry: So the emcee says to the first husband: "Where did your wife say was the most exotic place you ever made love?" So this guy's thinking, right? He's got a brain like a frigging pea, but he's thinking and finally he says "In the butt!" |
 You have Sea of Love |
FRANK KELLER: Sea of Love.
HELEN CRUGER: What?
FRANK KELLER: You have Sea of Love.
HELEN CRUGER: I haven't looked in those boxes in years. Why, do you like that record?
FRANK KELLER: Yeah, I like it.
HELEN CRUGER: I'm saving them for my daughter. Probably worth a fortune by now. They'd fall apart on the turntable.
FRANK KELLER: You never play them?
HELEN CRUGER: I don't even know what's in there anymore. You want something to drink?
FRANK KELLER: Yeah.
HELEN CRUGER: Yeah.
FRANK KELLER: A lot of people keep records? I should have kept mine. I had thousands, thousands of them. They'd be worth something now.
FRANK KELLER: Maybe the menu should come sometime this century. HELEN CRUGER: What's the big question you wanted to ask? FRANK KELLER: I don't know. Waiter. Waiter. I feel like I got the London Philharmonic up my ass. |
 Man Trouble |
 Sense And Sensibility |
 Shakespeare in Love |
 It Happened One Night |
